So, I was unable to follow through with the most recent bible study session but I did follow through reading the book we were assigned to study: "Becoming the Woman of His Dreams" by Sharon Jaynes. It has a few very helpful hints on become a wife worthy of her husband's love. I really enjoyed it! Here are a few of my favorite little tidbits:
"Becoming the wife of his dreams won't happen until we decide we would rather win his heart than win the battle, do right than be right, give more than get more, and wrap our arms around him instead of wrap him around our little finger."
"Just as men are called to be the head of the home, the wife is called to be the heart of the home. When we are acting as the head, it is hard to be the heart."
"What is it that draws two people in to closeness and love? Of course there's the mystery of physical attraction, but beyond that it's the things they share...If one of us likes anything, there must be something to like in it - and other one must find it - every single thing that either of us likes. That way we shall create a thousand strands, great and small, that will link us together. Then we shall be so close that it would be impossible - unthinkable - for either of us to suppose that we could ever recreate such closeness with anyone else. And our trust in each other will not only be based on love and loyalty, but on the fact of a thousand sharings - a thousand strands twisted into something unbreakable." -Sheldon Vanauken
Last of all, the book included prayers and verses for our husbands from their heads to their toes! I've made little sticky notes of these as reminders to pray for Travis in ways that I may typically forget. For example: His Hands - Whatever his hands do today, I pray that he will work as working for the Lord and not for men since that is where his ultimate reward will come from. Colossians 3:23-24.
My husband is my biggest blessing. I hope my prayers, my actions and my thoughts always reflect that statement...always reflect my love and admiration for him.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Making our house a home...
Very excited that my living room is starting to come together. It's beginning to feel more and more cozy and less and less institutional. I had been looking in to getting a rustic trunk like my best friend had in our old apartment. They were easy to find but not at a decent price. Found one for the right price at Sutherlands but we had a nice 3 month wait for it to be in stock! I had been on a mad search for a rug with some light blue accenting so I was really excited when I found this one on JcPenney's website for very a great deal...and I had a coupon, of course. Still need many more rugs for our all tile home...The rest of the place is a slow work in progress but I absolutely love when I find the little touches I've been searching for. Our house is really starting to feel like a home!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Hope
We did end up going through a miscarriage. Dr. Chartrand couldn't find a heartbeat this time and the baby hadn't grown at all since my first appointment. It was really hard for me to grasp the notion that our baby's heart stopped beating. I think a miscarriage is difficult at any stage - no exceptions - heartbeat or not. However, in our miscarriage, that little factor is what haunts me the most. Our babies heart stopped beating; it died.
I chose to have a D&C rather than wait for it to happen naturally. I actually would have preferred the natural way under normal circumstances, but Travis was only home for a week and I figured it would be better to go through everything while he was here. The procedure was quick and I had little to no physical pain afterwards. I wasn't really fond of that, actually. I woke up from the surgery feeling exactly the same as I did going in to it - except the baby was officially gone and I didn't get to say goodbye.
I didn't feel confident about the pregnancy from the beginning. Something just didn't feel right. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed for peace about it. In a way, the miscarriage was God's answer to my prayer for peace. Just not the answer I was hoping for. I don't understand His ways but I trust Him. It helps me to know that so many strong women who I admire have been in my shoes. It helps me fight the bitterness and gives me hope. One line in the song "Glory Baby" has been particularly uplifting: "But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home. And it's all you'll ever know, it's all you'll ever know." One of my biggest fears in becoming a mother is how to protect my children from this world. What a relief to know that one of my babies will never have to experience the trials and tribulations that we all do. It's encouraging to know that all my baby will ever experience is heaven and that the first person to hold him/her was Jesus.
Grieving but I'm hopeful. Hopeful for myself and for all of the women who are in my shoes.
I chose to have a D&C rather than wait for it to happen naturally. I actually would have preferred the natural way under normal circumstances, but Travis was only home for a week and I figured it would be better to go through everything while he was here. The procedure was quick and I had little to no physical pain afterwards. I wasn't really fond of that, actually. I woke up from the surgery feeling exactly the same as I did going in to it - except the baby was officially gone and I didn't get to say goodbye.
I didn't feel confident about the pregnancy from the beginning. Something just didn't feel right. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed for peace about it. In a way, the miscarriage was God's answer to my prayer for peace. Just not the answer I was hoping for. I don't understand His ways but I trust Him. It helps me to know that so many strong women who I admire have been in my shoes. It helps me fight the bitterness and gives me hope. One line in the song "Glory Baby" has been particularly uplifting: "But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home. And it's all you'll ever know, it's all you'll ever know." One of my biggest fears in becoming a mother is how to protect my children from this world. What a relief to know that one of my babies will never have to experience the trials and tribulations that we all do. It's encouraging to know that all my baby will ever experience is heaven and that the first person to hold him/her was Jesus.
Grieving but I'm hopeful. Hopeful for myself and for all of the women who are in my shoes.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Waiting, Waiting
Wow, been a while since I've been on here. We FAIPed, so we will be staying in Del Rio for the next few years while Travis is an instructor pilot on the T1. We were very excited! My first Thanksgiving went great! Thanks to the help of Cassie, everything turned out successful. I found a turkey recipe online that was perfect. It was so moist, which was what I figured to be the biggest challenge. The holidays were wonderful and we really enjoyed the time off with family & friends. Now, we're back to normal life. Travis is in San Antonio training to be an instructor and I'm here in Del Rio taking 3 online classes and working part time at the church...however, this isn't why I write.
Travis and I found out about 3 weeks ago that we were expecting. We couldn't have been more excited. We phoned family and close friends immediately. However, things haven't been 100% for me the past few weeks. Not your typical pregnancy issues....in fact, that's the problem. I didn't get morning sickness, my boobs are hardly sore and I have absolutely no cravings or aversions. I have always had a heart for miscarriages, always been consumed by them despite no family history of them. Well, despite my instincts and my scares, I tried to completely trust God and ignore my worries. My way of tackiling this "trust" problem was going a little more public with the pregnancy than I felt comfortable. That was my own little way of fighting my worries. Well, five days ago I woke up with blood in my underwear. Distraught, I called the doctor in a panic but given that it was dark and only spotting they weren't concerned and told me what to watch for. There was no real change over the next couple of days and I did my best to remain calm. Mid-Thursday, it got worse. I ended up in the ER all evening waiting and waiting to find out if my baby was okay. Travis was able to leave work and drive down to Del Rio. Since the ER wait was so long, he actually made it before I saw the doctor. They were unable to find a heart beat and my HCG (pregnancy hormone) levels were low. They basically notified us that there is a good chance we will have a miscarriage and told us to make an appt with the OBGYN in 4 days to recheck everything. This is where we are now. It's Saturday and I haven't miscarried. I'm simply on "bed" and "pelvic rest" waiting to cramp, waiting to miscarry. There is a chance the baby is okay, but I'm prepared for the opposite. I am currently a roller coaster of emotions. It's an impossible mix of pain, guilt and shame. On the other hand, I feel like God has been preparing me for this. Like this was meant to happen to me, it was meant to be my trial. I feel a strange sense of strength. I have nothing left to do right now but trust God and trust His plan with all of this. Travis couldn't be more selfless and has been such a saint these past few days. We have such a compassionate support system that has really carried us through. When I look around at all of them, it's hard to feel sorry for myself at all. If this baby wasn't meant to carry to full term, I will be heartbroken. Yet, as I look around me I realize that I won't be alone in my pain. We are so loved.
So, here's to waiting...
Travis and I found out about 3 weeks ago that we were expecting. We couldn't have been more excited. We phoned family and close friends immediately. However, things haven't been 100% for me the past few weeks. Not your typical pregnancy issues....in fact, that's the problem. I didn't get morning sickness, my boobs are hardly sore and I have absolutely no cravings or aversions. I have always had a heart for miscarriages, always been consumed by them despite no family history of them. Well, despite my instincts and my scares, I tried to completely trust God and ignore my worries. My way of tackiling this "trust" problem was going a little more public with the pregnancy than I felt comfortable. That was my own little way of fighting my worries. Well, five days ago I woke up with blood in my underwear. Distraught, I called the doctor in a panic but given that it was dark and only spotting they weren't concerned and told me what to watch for. There was no real change over the next couple of days and I did my best to remain calm. Mid-Thursday, it got worse. I ended up in the ER all evening waiting and waiting to find out if my baby was okay. Travis was able to leave work and drive down to Del Rio. Since the ER wait was so long, he actually made it before I saw the doctor. They were unable to find a heart beat and my HCG (pregnancy hormone) levels were low. They basically notified us that there is a good chance we will have a miscarriage and told us to make an appt with the OBGYN in 4 days to recheck everything. This is where we are now. It's Saturday and I haven't miscarried. I'm simply on "bed" and "pelvic rest" waiting to cramp, waiting to miscarry. There is a chance the baby is okay, but I'm prepared for the opposite. I am currently a roller coaster of emotions. It's an impossible mix of pain, guilt and shame. On the other hand, I feel like God has been preparing me for this. Like this was meant to happen to me, it was meant to be my trial. I feel a strange sense of strength. I have nothing left to do right now but trust God and trust His plan with all of this. Travis couldn't be more selfless and has been such a saint these past few days. We have such a compassionate support system that has really carried us through. When I look around at all of them, it's hard to feel sorry for myself at all. If this baby wasn't meant to carry to full term, I will be heartbroken. Yet, as I look around me I realize that I won't be alone in my pain. We are so loved.
So, here's to waiting...
Thursday, November 12, 2009
All moved in
Travis and I are about one month away from all the big events! Drop night and Graduation are both in December and then we're hopefully headed home for a good and long Christmas vacation. Granted, we'll be making that trip with two big dogs in the back of our civic packed with presents and luggage...but nothing can put a damper on the end of pilot training!
We recently moved in to a nicer and bigger house on the other side of base. Luckily the previous tenant was a friend with some incredible decorating skills. The house is fully painted and the yard is beautiful. I've been getting busy unpacking and hanging stuff. It's sorta silly to go "all out" since we may be moving in just a couple of months, but the Air Force moves us anyways so I might as well make it feel like home, right? The new neighbors are super friendly and we're being spoiled with all sorts of cookies.
Less than 2 weeks until Thanksgiving. I'm hosting my first Thanksgiving this year! David and Cassie (Trav's best friend and his out-of-town fiance) will be coming over. It's a little nerve-wracking but with a small crowd of close friends, I could probably totally butcher the turkey and they'd still tell me it was fabulous! What are friends for :)
We recently moved in to a nicer and bigger house on the other side of base. Luckily the previous tenant was a friend with some incredible decorating skills. The house is fully painted and the yard is beautiful. I've been getting busy unpacking and hanging stuff. It's sorta silly to go "all out" since we may be moving in just a couple of months, but the Air Force moves us anyways so I might as well make it feel like home, right? The new neighbors are super friendly and we're being spoiled with all sorts of cookies.
Less than 2 weeks until Thanksgiving. I'm hosting my first Thanksgiving this year! David and Cassie (Trav's best friend and his out-of-town fiance) will be coming over. It's a little nerve-wracking but with a small crowd of close friends, I could probably totally butcher the turkey and they'd still tell me it was fabulous! What are friends for :)
Friday, September 18, 2009
Beginner Blogger :)
Brand new to blogging but pretty excited about it! I think it will be a quick and easy way to updated friends and family who aren't on Facebook and who don't make the weekly call list.
Travis and I are currently still in Del Rio, Texas as Trav finishes up Pilot Training. He is doing great and I am so proud of him! His "drop" date, or the date that he finds out his plane assignment is set for December 4th and Graduation is set for December 18th. We are very excited to be wrapping up the pilot training stage of our lives. We have a few first assignments in mind that we would prefer but we're ready to see what God has planned for us and happy with basically any assignment! The community here at Laughlin AFB is very welcoming and we've made many great friends. I am working for a really nice couple from our church at their real estate agency part time and also finishing my Bachelors degree in Social Psychology. I have a little over a year left of school. We have a 13 month old Golden Retriever named Leo and a 9 month old Border Collie named Millie that have become our main source of entertainment! You'll probably hear way too much about them. That's a quick update! More to come...
Travis and I are currently still in Del Rio, Texas as Trav finishes up Pilot Training. He is doing great and I am so proud of him! His "drop" date, or the date that he finds out his plane assignment is set for December 4th and Graduation is set for December 18th. We are very excited to be wrapping up the pilot training stage of our lives. We have a few first assignments in mind that we would prefer but we're ready to see what God has planned for us and happy with basically any assignment! The community here at Laughlin AFB is very welcoming and we've made many great friends. I am working for a really nice couple from our church at their real estate agency part time and also finishing my Bachelors degree in Social Psychology. I have a little over a year left of school. We have a 13 month old Golden Retriever named Leo and a 9 month old Border Collie named Millie that have become our main source of entertainment! You'll probably hear way too much about them. That's a quick update! More to come...
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